You all go on ahead…

I’ll catch up.

———

I feel a lot of shame about being slow. Shame about having too little initiative. Shame about the pain I’m in. I feel a twinge in my back, and I think of all the PT exercises I didn’t do that led to that twinge. I get a headache, realize it’s because my jaw has been clenched for hours, and I think about all the meditation I didn’t do, despite my therapist’s constant reminders.

The reality is, I need to accept that being inconsistent is not equivalent to failure. My time is split between parenting responsibilities, household duties, and building my business, and sometimes one of those things takes precedence over the others. This is normal and I do not need to beat myself up over it.

I’ve been really stuck on the getting started part of this. I pursued some ideas before realizing they were bad. I interviewed for a couple jobs that weren’t a good fit, but took up a lot of time. Today I finally thought of something small enough that I think I could actually achieve it: Art cards. I’ve sketched up a design already, and I can get them cheaply printed somewhere as business cards. I’ve already started hand painting some to sell as ACEOs, but I just realized I could design some digitally and then have them printed in bulk to get my name out there.

Pretty excited about this idea, so putting it in print to see how long it takes me to execute. Wish me luck, dear internet abyss.